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Cartomantic

by Cup of Sun

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    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

    Bonus version of "Carry The Darkness" featuring the amazing Caitlin Millerd. Also comes with the original cover art for the three singles: "Carry The Darkness", "Wolves", and "Vertikle".
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1.
Alarm 02:41
Alarm set the alarm forget the snow just get in the car and go no one even has to know the face in the mirror is cold as you stare so you vanish as quickly as smoke in the air no one even has to know you travel all over but nowhere is home so you settle down somewhere but still feel alone no one even has to know so you try to dig in and see under the surface hoping to find where the end of the earth is but all you get is water and stone there's all you can be and there's all that you are and the distance between is a little too far to try and believe in your soul and your art to swallow your fears and just follow your heart so sit in the silence that blue skies provide and try to just hear the true music inside without all the noise of your car and your job that keep you enslaved in their claws as they rob your life away if you don't pay attention wake up one day just a waste of potential and all that you'll say is you once had a dream as distant and faded as an old memory where spirits were calling your name and you heard a purpose for life in the sounds of the birds but all that is gone now you clock in you clock out your bills in a pile never stop and you know how the devil works in innocent ways he never does just what he says he just lets your whole life pass amidst the wind
2.
Carry The Darkness the night of the saddest gun if you had one would you have pulled it? and when your ex showed up with a metal hunk but forgot the bullets I turn your story raw inside my head but I can't imagine we almost never met and I wouldn't even know to regret the tragedy oh we had to be lovers in another life I can see us lying under cover of a summer sky but we'll have to be buried at some other time I am not prepared to see you carried off into the light you told me once you're a different set of cells than you were seven years ago you said I've shed that skin and it's time for me to begin to let it go you told me god was dead but instead of dreading death you felt spiritual I asked you what that meant and you said it's a lie that I like to tell myself you say I carry the darkness around with me and it's an awful burden you say I pray like murders my sermon and I sing like my house is burning down to the ground well maybe I'll just still learning how to be found and not carry the darkness around with me because it's an awful burden and I feel the lock turning in my chest and I'm caught in the festival lights of your eyes and the rest of my life is at best just a lie and at worst I'm still thirsty for death or for dying because I carry the darkness around with me
3.
First Frost 02:58
First Frost night of the first frost not a car on the road lost my my, what a slap in the face when summer ends this way close all the windows set fire to the wood stove and the blue skies are burning to grey it's the night of the first frost close all the windows it's the night of the first frost you come like a lover and you stay like a thief crawling through the autumn I can't get no relief drawing on the forces you were both with and I weep so gracefully oh just hold me please until i can sleep you are hurricane ice cream and the rocks between my teeth and every little thing the damn ocean ever taught me you are hurricane ice cream and the rocks between my teeth and every little thing the damn ocean ever taught me you are
4.
Wolves 02:32
Wolves wrench gutted like butter in the sun I boil in the fat of the things I have done run like a blind man night in the woods with faith in momentum and trusting in good and thrusting my chances through branches and trunks stoned like a dancer I wrestle with wolves howl like a madman pray like a saint I'm begging for answers I wait and I wait wake up craving a bottle of screams you know it's a nightmare but you're calling it a dream knees of an old man loose your tooth you lie so much you've forgotten the truth sitting in the white room taking down notes whiskey for breakfast you're breathing so close and everyone's watching you watching the clock clawing at the hours like you're gnawing at a rock don't want to be the hedgehog wanna be the fox or a clairvoyant mystic with his head twisted off still in the water a lone white dog got a field of bones but your teeth are soft you push it to the limit you don't know when to stop knock a shot back snap and throw a bottle at a cop and everyone laughs as the sky turns black you went for a swim but you never came back driving on empty ready for the show all dressed up and nowhere to go wandering tired forever you roam while all you desire is waiting at home why do you search for a god or a church in the fog or a light in the dark or a song what if your purpose is not what you thought and all you've been taught is just pointless and wrong? we all lift a glass some go some stay some live some die what more can I say? like stars degrading into dust our scars all fade with age and sun oh it's a cloak that we hide the guilt in behind the oak where they beat the children like stars degrading into dust our scars all fade with age and sun
5.
Paper Flesh 03:31
Paper Flesh We opened the windows finally the rain breathed the air heaved and we slept backs facing naked beneath crimson sheets bleeding and healing in the night sky I know I'll never understand so I don't wonder why we were wasted hearts breaking a glass of water slowly evaporating now the cold rush it can't touch us so we drove to the ocean bloodlust you picked up piles of sand in your hands and said "we are just stardust expanding" I kicked up stones with my toes and sat there frozen another man broken I kicked up stones with my toes and sat there frozen another man broken you were everything I wanted and I knew I was leaving I opened up my chest and my heart stopped beating you were everything I wanted and I knew I was leaving I opened up my chest and my heart stopped beating my lungs stopped breathing my heart stopped beating you were everything I wanted and I knew I was leaving I opened up my chest and my heart stopped beating cuz I'm easier to love on paper then in flesh so I'll keep in touch till later when I see you next I'm easier to love on paper than in flesh so don't do me any favors when I'm off again traveling don't do many any favors cuz I'm off again off again
6.
Long Train 03:53
wait a minute all the walls are coming down I'll admit it I'm the one who's not around lost in my head as you toss in my bed feel the frost settle in is this the cost of living? cuz I'm dead without your sweet touch do I feel too much? feet brush under covers and I'm street crushed thunder in the heat blushing, wonder what the blunder was, wonder how we plundered trust murderous malicious vicious lover with an uppercut watch us crumble into dust stuck in winter wanderlust I'll go with you if you want me to but only if you know it's a long train and there's no one to tell us what to do I'll go with you just know it's our own way wait a minute I tried to do no harm but got caught up in your charming ways fell at at alarming rate I couldn't catch your weight or breath perpetuating in the mirror my own mystery and myth and now the mess is clearing skeptical and meaningless words are exchanged fear turns to rage you steer steady in my waves feel the wind in chains breaking sails just to save yourself this ship is going down all that's left to find out is will you swim or drown I'll go with you if you want me to but only if you know it's a long train and there's no one to tell us what to do I'll go with you just know it's our own way
7.
Meant To Be 03:21
Meant To Be said good morning to atlantic wind passed the silence picking stones to skip watched the violets fade to amethyst this is how it's meant to be drove a thousand miles to see you cry could have just stayed home and saved the time but you could use my steady caring eyes so this is where I'm meant to be on a back road in a moving car dreamt that you'd become a movie star and that's when I knew you were far away this is where I'm meant to stay and much to my astonishment I saw you kneel and take the hit with nothing left but your confidence melting away this is where you're meant to stay and it's ok that we've lost our edge and we'll be better off alone I guess we'll find different ways to grow instead of throwing stones to sea this is how it's meant to be
8.
Letter 03:00
Letter I wrote you a letter but I never sent it off if I didn't know better I'd say all the words were wrong telephones lines crossed satellite signal soft and your voice is just a distant ship lost digital love digital love digital love moving onwards we escape to the airport running late but manhattan is empty like I've only dreamt and we cross the east river in a blinding silence I knew in my bones that I'd be back I'd hold you in my arms like I'd never left curl a moan into your neck a throne to which I can connect alone again alone again alone again I wake up in a cold sweat run my hands across my head alone again alone again alone again I want to know your skin and breath come home and rest within your nest alone again atone again I moan again: I wrote you a letter but it doesn't say a thing no it's just ink and paper it can't take the place of skin but there's no need to worry I'll be home before you wake like a shadow in a song you won't even know I've gone and then I'll slip back into place between your arms where I belong digital love digital love digital love
9.
Vertikle 02:46
Vertikle tying up the loose ends stomach in knots never learned to breathe forgive me god when the party ends I'm the last one left along at the ballpark pitching at a fence staring down the barrels of guns all around the world our daughters and sons fighting blind wars and making a mess lying when we say: "we'll never forget" already have in this senseless path we're walking it again cuz it hurts to laugh too much dirt in the blood on our hands to muster the courage to stand freeway wind touching the edge full moon crash the ocean a wreck standing on the dunes and praying for a wave to come along soon and take me away praying for a wave to take me away I watch you release a barrel of bees I'm covered in honey god help me please my last thought of you it lingered so long stinger in deep and sleep never come I used to believe we would rise up hard but I've learned quick who shuffles the cards guards the tricks for the world at large but nobody winds so who's in charge? you'll loosen your grip when your fingers are charred reduced back and stripped of your useless parts scarred by the whip of a gruesome god I can't forgive in a room this dark but I love you wherever you are the depths of the ocean the heart of a star I know I rode hard and tried to escape but I won't run away from you won't run away I won't run away from you, won't run away
10.
Steep Cliffs 03:33
Steep Cliffs my father is an old man with too many fantasies but who am I to judge? and my mother is a catholic with too many scars to be healed with scattered love and I want my mother to heal first before she reaches the end and I want my father's old t-shirts to smell like him again my father chasing me in a sailboat on the open sea asking me, oh, asking me he says "why do your dreams go on year after year but never seem to appear?" well what else could I do? up ahead was a steep cliff to our left was a death wish what else could we do what else could we do this is my mothers sweet green earth please love it for all that's it worth might be all that we get let her heal in the end and my father never promised me heaven or hell or tried to tell me what tides lied ahead if I bring you an old map of islands can I feel his gentle hands again? if I bring you an old map of islands a cartographers chest if I bring you an old map of islands can I see his sweet face again? why do your dreams go on year after year but never seem to appear the band was playing on the choppy ocean they were brilliant and my family was there I crossed the rotting bridge up the staircase to where god lives and stood at the top whispering prayers there were photographs and rivers waterfalls and all of the sudden the walls collapsed and I was engulfed but we came out singing like two freed slaves and the song was one that only the jailed could have made and my brothers understood straight on was a steep cliff to our left was a death wish what else could we do?

about

Please download the FULL album and and consider DONATING if you can afford it, or download for free if you cannot. Regardless: enjoy + share freely with anyone you think might like it.

This recording represents the last 3 years of my life, writing, traveling, recording, editing, re-recording, . There are lyrics that appear on this album that I wrote over 10 years ago, and have waited this long to reach the world. A lot of work has been put into this album (beyond countless hours), so I hope it reaches someone.

Please contact me if you would like to collaborate or say hello: cupofsun@gmail.com

Thank you: My mother and father for always supporting my musical inclinations. My two brothers and all my extended family for always listening and inspiring me. My friends and teachers who have given priceless feedback over the years, thank you all.

Thank you to KL for allowing her beautiful face to grace the album cover.

Thanks to New Orleans, for letting me come home and finish this damn thing.

All Songs ℗ Sam Dillon, 2014.

credits

released August 22, 2014

Sam Dillon: Vocals + Music + Production + Design.

Caitlin Millerd: Additional Vocals on "Carry The Darkness" (Bonus Version) and "Meant To Be".

Lynz Morahn: Violin on "Steep Cliffs"

Samples from the open source music site Looperman are used throughout this album, with gratitude.

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Cup of Sun New Orleans, Louisiana

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